Pornography and It's devastating effects on marriages

     Pornography, it's a subject often overlooked by Public officials, Parent's and Doctors alike due to it's "uncomfortable" nature, but is it time we stop avoiding the "p" word and shed some light on the issue. Some people might say it's silly to question something that seems so simple. But when that "so simple" thing is being utilized by something as comprehensive and complex as the human brain, it's no longer such a silly question. Pornography is easily one of the most searched and viewed subjects on the internet in the history of internet and probably always will exist on the internet. But knowing that porn has such a large audience isn't the answer to the question i asked earlier. Knowing porn has such a large audience is simply the beginning of shedding light to much bigger issues, issues that affect moral, respect, women's rights, psychology, human trafficking laws, addiction, marriage, and the lasting effect that pornography addiction will leave on the human race. Few have attempted to shed light on such a touchy subject and even fewer have succeeded to do so. Actress Rashida Jones produced a documentary that can be found on Netflix titled "Hot Girls Wanted". The documentary goes in depth on the porn industry, showing how models are found, how the models live, how they tell their families, how their families cope, and their overall reflection after a number of months in the industry. Almost every girl that entered the porn industry in the film ultimately regretted their decision of getting involved in the industry. Many Girls enter the porn industry infatuated with the idea of being "famous" and living glamorous lives focused on money and partying. Often, girls who do get involved in porn are already in vulnerable situations. Many of them are drug abusers, alcoholics, victims of abuse, and extremely desperate. They enter the porn industry looking for ways to feed their addictions or escape their realities, ergo making them extremely vulnerable to becoming victims of abuse. As put by former star Regan Starr "I got the &*%$ kicked out of me …. Most of the girls start crying because they’re hurting so bad …. I couldn’t breathe. I was being hit and choked. I was really upset and they didn’t stop. They kept filming. [I asked them to turn the camera off] and they kept going." (FightTheNewDrug) This is a reality thousands of women deal with everyday all across the world, and the worst part is that close to no one is doing anything to stop it. But the abuse and mistreatment is only the beginning of this issue.


     One of the most undervalued issues that is provoked by the existence of pornography is the addiction. Many people don't realize that addiction to pornography is quite common, and that's probably because many porn addicts are hidden in plain sight. They are the teachers that grade our tests, the cops that protect our city from crime, the stars on the football teams, the pastors of churches, the cashier at the convenience store and etc. Many people are scared to come out in the open with their addiction in fear of judgement, shame, and embarrassment while other people don't even think about porn as addictive. Many use porn as an escape of daily life whether it be stress from work, school, home, or it lets them create a fantasy in their head that otherwise would not be possible. These fantasies or "escapes" allow the viewer to get the "feel good" sensation based off the fantasy they created in their head. However, research has proved that porn creates the complete opposite effect on the brain than what it perceives. Don't believe me? just read this excerpt from "Porn leads to violence"; a feature of the website FightTheNewDrug.com: "Our brains have what scientists call “mirror neurons”—brain cells that fire not only when we do things ourselves, but also when we watch other people do things. This is why movies can make us cry or get scared; or why some people can get so emotionally involved in watching a football game on TV. When a person is watching porn, their brain is busy wiring together whatever is happening on the screen to sexual arousal—in many ways just like if a person was actually doing what they are watching. So if they’re watching a woman get kicked around and called names while feeling aroused, they’re more likely to associate that kind of violence with being sexy.  Even when porn isn’t violent, viewers are learning to see other people as nothing more than objects made to be used for sexual pleasure." (FightTheNewDrug) This knowledge alone should be enough to bring the porn industry into question. I was unable to find accurate statistics of how many people view porn, however i can tell you that number is very high.

     Now if you are any sort of genius, you would have put together the title of this blog with the facts provided in the previous paragraph. If you haven't however done that already, i will put it simply for you. When married men watch porn, or worse, are addicted to porn, their marriage generally doesn't end well. Accounting for married men also doesn't account for the percentage of Men and Teens who watch porn alike that may be in a serious relationship. Since we know that consistently viewing porn can lead to violent behavior and extreme sexual addiction, we can assume the devastating effect porn can have on marriages. Almost all research regarding porns effect on marriages showed the same results. Marriages in which one partner is addicted to porn or sex were often plagued with secrecy, lack of trust, isolation, anxiety, and dysfunction in the relationship. Another ramification of porn addiction often leads to a weak sense of financial security, because often times an addict my end up losing their job because they were looking up porn on a company computer or the addict may end up spending loads of money on porn website memberships. Another way of seeing the issue with porn and marriages is that many women, regardless of what their religious beliefs are see looking at porn as a serious threat to being able to stay married at all. Why? For one thing, when a partner is using porn often, it takes away time they could otherwise be spending together. On top of that, many partners consider it cheating or close to cheating when their partner is using images of someone else’s body to get aroused. More studies have also shown that someone who uses porn frequently is more likely to have an affair during a marriage than someone who doesn't view porn. The reason being is because porn users are frequently seeing images of woman and sexual activity that is often far outside their boundaries or way they could treat their spouse. An example might be that a man see's violent pornography but knows that his wife would not be okay with it, therefore leading them to find a woman that they are lead to believe would enjoy that sort of violence during the act of sex such as a prostitute, which makes it easier for them to carry out these demented fantasies that porn brings to life.

     It is safe to say that pornography is not something healthy or beautiful for our generation to romanticize. With a growing trend in productions such as "Fifty shades of grey" where BDSM is very much romanticized about, It is time to truly analyze the effects of torture porn on the human brain and begin to reverse this growing trend before marriage is ruined all together. Pornography is easily accessible for minors and porn websites are easy to navigate. All a minor needs to do to access a porn website hosting tens of thousands of torture videos is simply press a button that confirms they are above age. If i was a parent, this knowledge of how easy it is to access porn would frighten me, simply because i would hope that my child would one day find a spouse and carry on the next generation of my family. But porn threatens marriage entirely. It threatens morals and demeans woman in the worst ways possible. One theory i have about porn is that if porn was to be banned all together and not exist, rape crimes would drop, divorce numbers would drop, as well as a number of mental health issues that may include depression, schizophrenia, addiction, and low self esteem. I also suspect that teen suicide rates would drop. The reason i was able to come to this conclusion is because i realized that many kids my age, more or less boys, have began to treat their female peers more as objects than human beings. They make derogatory remarks to these female peers as if they are laughing matters, when infact they are not. To a boy making a joke like that it may be funny, but to the person being laughed at, it may be provoking something far worse than what can be seen on the outside, and if you think that we don't have a serious problem here, i suggest you do some research. A problem a generation before us created is a problem that our generation must fix, and i hope that this short writing will help open some minds to a new realm of ideas and realization that will lead to a healthier society all together, and fix the rising number of divorces that seems to be growing ever so much.


For more information you may visit...


Fight The New Drug

Porn Neuroscience